This Somber Holiday

It's Memorial Day. The kick off to summer, a long weekend, time to plant the tomato plants. And lest we forget, a time to remember all the heroes, alive and gone, of America's wars.


I still can vividly remember a day in June, 1967; I was eleven, playing outdoors with my neighborhood friend, Janet, when her mother came outside, crying, and told my friend that her cousin Billy had been killed in Viet Nam. He was in a tank that was hit by enemy fire and exploded. He was 20 years old.


Viet Nam: My husband's father, from a farming family in northwestern Rhode Island was there at the same time, a Sea Bee. He survived, but struggled when he returned and died young, probably at least in part to exposure to Agent Orange. My cousin, Frank, now 70, also exposed at Agent Orange, who did two tours as a chopper medic. He's living in Florida, happily retired and enjoying frequent cruises and jaunts in his RV with his wife. He won't fly again, ever. He is an American hero but doesn't like to talk about his days in Nam.


My Dad is a Korean Conflict veteran. He's still alive, but his name is already on the WWII Memorial in his home town, where he still lives, still married to the woman, my mother, who waited for him to return. Like Frank, he doesn't talk about the time he spent overseas, either. He is part of "the greatest generation" memorialized on that monument. We've asked him if he would like to participate in the Memorial Day tributes; he always declines.


Last night, my husband talked on the phone with our young neighbor, the age of my oldest daughter. He was in Iraq; he went there thinking he would be working as a plumber, his civilian occupation, and found himself holding a gun in combat instead of a plumber's wrench. And he is struggling. I heard my husband say "thank you for your service, sir" before he hung up the phone.


This weekend, have fun. Be safe. And remember all our heroes. They are usually almost invisible, trying to just have a good life like we all want, sometimes succeeding and other times needing a helping hand, an acknowledgement, a kind word.